


Goddamn Golden Apple Pie!

by 100331



Series: Even A God's Gotta Go! [1]
Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, F/M, Fanfiction, Farting, Gay, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Homoeroticism, M/M, Mythology - Freeform, Mythology References, Scat, Toilet Fetish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-09 02:39:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12878430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100331/pseuds/100331
Summary: Zeus and Ganymede eat too much golden apple (AND celery) pie, and have awful diarrhea. In the end, Ganymede's alright, but Zeus' butt starts releasing thunder...literally!





	Goddamn Golden Apple Pie!

**Author's Note:**

> Made by me and a friend who wishes to be anonymous

"Hebe, dear!" Zeus called from his throne. A beautiful, blonde-haired young lady appeared in the doorway of the throne room. "Yes, Daddy?" she asked him with an innocent smile. 

"Is that food I smell?"

"It is. Mom made a golden apple pie," Hebe told him, “She’s gone for the day, but she made some for us!” Zeus smiled, he would be free to help himself without having to deal with her nagging until much later, and have some food to enjoy as well. "Bring me three slices at once," the god commanded.

Hebe nodded dutifully and disappeared. She was soon replaced by Zeus’ beloved, Ganymede. "Golden apple pie, hmm?" The raven-haired young man licked his lips. "Would you like some?" Zeus asked. “Of course!” replied Ganymede, “Thank you, my love!" He pecked Zeus' bearded cheek, and said, "Isn't it wonderful not to have that terrible Hera here?" "Mmm..." Zeus muttered. His thoughts were far away and focusing on the pleasures of the golden apple pie.

"Here's your three slices, Daddy," Hebe said cheerfully as she appeared with a plate. "Thank you, my dear." Zeus handed a slice to Ganymede before taking a bite of one of the other two. As he chewed his mouthful, he lifted one of his glutes and let one rip.

"Zeus!" Ganymede scolded with a laugh as he took a bite of his own. "You know you enjoy it, beloved," Zeus replied. He also knew Ganymede could fart with the best of them. Only an hour later, despite multiple warnings from Hebe, Zeus had finished the vast majority of the pie. Unfortunately for him, it hadn't exactly sat well. It wasn't long he found himself straining on the latrine, his hairy cheeks jiggling.

With a groan, Zeus blew out a burst of gas and began forcing a turd out of his hairy asshole. His anus quivered and his buns flapped as he released the thick log into the hole beneath him and sighed in relief. "Excuse me, beloved!" Ganymede cried out as he raced in and sat on the jar across from Zeus. Diarrhea was already beginning to pour out of him.

“Oh no, my sweet Ganymede! No you too!” cried Zeus. “Unfortunately…” replied Ganymede, whose buttocks quivered over the large jar. “I would honestly let you shit in my latrine, but my ass is stuck to it!” said Zeus, with tears in his eyes. 

“It’s…uh…alright!”

For such a little youth, this blue-eyed and dark-haired beauty sure could shit a storm, not even Zeus would poop that much. “Damn, that’s foul!” replied Zeus, as he plugged his nose and waved away the smell from Ganymede’s ass.

“Sorry,” said a blushing Ganymede, “despite my size, I take big, rancid dumps.” Zeus put his hand on Ganymede’s thigh. “Right now? Why we’re pooping?” asked Ganymede. “OH NO! NO! I just wanted to comfort you,” said Zeus. 

“Well you don’t need to comfort me any…uh…longer…”

“Why is that?”

“Because, I…eh…am finished!” Ganymede replied, pushing out one final log. “Um, do you have some sort of linen, or clay I can wipe with?” “Of course” replied Zeus, who turned his head only to find nothing wipe with inside. “Well, shit!” 

Ganymede took off his loincloth and wiped with it. “Desperate times call for desperate measures, eh,” said Ganymede. “You’re lucky, shit is still leaving me,” Zeus replied. Ganymede, with a shocked look, said, “It i---“. PFFFBBBBBT!!!!!!! Before Ganymede took finish his statement, Zeus’ ass let out a thunderous fart. Zeus was completely red, “Oh my gods! I just farted in front of the man I love!” 

Ganymede hopped off the jar and sat on Zeus’ lap. “It’s alright. It was kinda hot!” Ganymede said as he placed his head on Zeus’ shoulder. Zeus held on to the youth and took out his penis, but unfortunately his butt literally starting shaking. “Ganymede…” Zeus said with a worried look. “Yes, beloved,” replied Ganymede, completely unaware of what was happening. “Get out…now! I’m gonna blow!” Zeus cried.

Ganymede rushed out of Zeus’ bathroom, covering his genitals and letting his big booty bounce. Ganymede so fast, he didn’t look where he was going and ran into Lord Poseidon. “Ganymede, why the hell are you naked?” asked Poseidon, looking upwards so he didn’t see Ganymede’s cock. Ganymede whispered the whole story in Poseidon’s ear: the apple pie, the farting, the jar, and Zeus’ rumbling buttocks. 

“Eh, you are the only one with a story like that, lemme tell you an experience I just had that involved my son Triton and a sea serpent…” said Poseidon, as he led Ganymede down the hallway. “But before we start,” Poseidon ripped off the sash of his robe and wrapped it around Ganymede’s waist, only letting his butt crack show. “Perfect, now, I had way too much trout…”

Meanwhile, Zeus’ bubble butt was shaking so much, he had to lift up and hovering over the latrine hole. “Gods, what the fuck is happening to my ass?” cried the king of gods. “Zeus?” a familiar voice called. It was Hera, peeking her head into his bathroom. 

Zeus screamed and covered his junk with his hands. “Honey, I’ve seen you nude before…and on the latrine,” said Hera, annoyed. “Oh shit, yeah,” Zeus said as he uncovered his genitals. “So, how have you been?” Zeus asked, with sweat coming from his forehead. He didn’t know what was worst: Hera being disgusted or his ass exploding. “I’ve been okay, the people of Argos had a lovely festival dedicated to me. I brought them my celery-apple pie. I left so here, did you eat any?” Hera replied.

"I did," Zeus groaned. "As I'm sure you've noticed by now." "Good, first I thought you hated celery," said Hera. "Celery?" asked Zeus, pushing out some more shit. "Yes, celery-apple pie. I took some apples from my garden and cooked it with celery. I was gonna add pomegranates, but pomegranate-apple pie just did sound as good as celery-apple." "Babe, celery gives me the runs!" Before Hera could reply, Zeus' ass erupted and thunder---actual thunder---came from it.

"Oh my gods!" said Hera, her blue eyes filled with fear. The powerful goddess fled and shouted, "EVERY EXVACUATE! ZEUS' ASS IS GONNA BLOW!" The other gods screamed in terror, this hadn't happened since he ate too much at the feast they held to celebrate his victory over the monster Typhon. "FUCKING MOVE, PEOPLE!" Poseidon screamed as he picked up both Hebe and Ganymede. 

All gods left, it was just like with Typhon attacked and they fled to Egypt. All were gone, all but Athene, Zeus' favorite child. She refused to leave her father behind, may he be naked or having a feces-covered butt, she wouldn't go until she knew Zeus was okay.

Zeus, unfortunately, wasn't. His buttocks quaked and lightning bolts shot from his asshole. "GODDAMN GOLDEN APPLE PIE!" shouted Zeus. And, somehow, miraculously, Zeus pushed out two final turds and let out a thick stream of pee from his cock. "AAAAAHHHH!" replied the king of gods in relief. "Never again. No more of Hera's pies for me."


End file.
